Mindfullness

In efforts to cope with my mental illness my doctor invited me to practice mindfulness. Staying in the present moment, not fearing the future, or ruminating about the past, but just living in the moment and observing that sensation. It was difficult to practice as my mind would continue to dive into anxiety and depression. Just sitting and meditating was too difficult for me. So I decided to paint intuitively as a way of directing my mind into mindfulness. The result is the work I am presently doing. I intuitively choose the colours, inspired by the moment I then apply wide brushstrokes or squares of paint to the canvas.

Sonnet in Green, by Iris Low

I have long been fascinated by “the brushstroke,” a very personal way that an artist produces work. If you look at van Gogh’s art in his later life you will see how prominently his brushstrokes feature in his work. For that matter any impressionist focuses on the brushstroke. Rothko, who suffered from depression, produced magnificent paintings of giant squares of colour; he wanted to just paint emotion. It is heady stuff to look at his work, so large and meaningful. Another artist like this is Gauguin, who’s colour use was spectacular. He too suffered from depression. It has been an inspiration for me to look at artists who suffered from mental illness and to see how bright and expressive they were with colour.

detail of van Gogh’s brushstrokes

The colours I use in my mindfulness series are an expression of my mood, my emotions at that moment. Mood is not static but ever changing, it moves and flows, which is why there is movement in my paintings. Mindfulness has been a fantastic therapy for me and has provided me with an outlet that shows, I believe, that there is light in the darkness of my illness and I hope that this is expressed to others who experience mental illness or who’s loved ones do.